Friday, August 20, 2010

Call back for Job

I have my second interview today.

:D

Im nervous

It's for office work. Like a real job

It's so exciting. And it has to deal with photography. It's a picture company for like family pics, or school, whatever.

It's at 2.

Wish me luck.

xoxo

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Everyone attention

I have a tumblr Go to it.

http://franticfinds.tumblr.com/

random stuff. :P

Im updating more and more on my Youtube. GO to it. :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/franticfoxx

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I've come to realize

I've come to realize that I will never be able to look up to my parents for support. Not that they DON"T support me, but it's the fact that they don't feel that they need to show it.
My mother feels that her belief in "tough love" is what will make me do great it life. Well mom, I'm almost 20 years old and I still have not pleased you in one aspect of my life. Every move, every word, every action that I take upon myself, you have a shit comment to say about it. The words that leave your mouth astound me, and hurt me beyond belief. You will never understand how much your words affect me deep down. You refuse to believe that anything you say can affect someone's well being. Every tear that I cry from you, will create a scar that you can never notice.
I've come to realize that if I ever want to stay happy, I have to forget my parents. They cannot be part of my happiness. As terrible as it sounds, it is true in my world. I know they love me, but the disappointment that they say I bring them is to much for me to handle, and I will be better off without them standing by my side. I never received the amount of understanding or confidence from either my mom or dad, that I would have preferred. It's is up to myself to create my own happiness.
What I don't understand; is how you can be so oblivious to how I became so hostile. Mom; you were always negative, you always had something to say, and never seemed to be happy with anything. And thanks to you, I sadly am growing to become the exact same way, except, I know what can make me happy. I know what is real and I know what is important in life. I never want to become like you, I hope and pray I become my own person, and learn from your flaws.
i don't hate my parents. I just don't feel loved, or wanted around them. I have apparently disappointed them so much in my years of growing up, I believe they have given up on me. I am fucking trying. But thats not transferring through your thick headed skulls. I am trying to ignore the horrendous comments mom says to me about how i am not good at anything. You fucking try to ignore such remarks. Tell me, how would you feel? I would like to know.
I've come to realize, I do need a lot of help. But help from people around me, and not from my parents. I need to process the information that my friends give me to help me become more of a confident person. Growing up I have lost the ability to know what is real, and what is fake. My mom would tell me one thing, but my friends told me another. Who do I believe? My mom tells me I was getting "BIG" my friends tell me I was never "BIG." whats fucking true?


to be continued..

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Everyone! I am back and kickin!

Hello my cupcakes!

I'm am back :) I have been so so sick the past few days, and I'm finally feeling beetter, thanks to medicine from the hospital lol...
Anyways I don't want to get into that, and be a debbie downer so on to the cool news.
I got my hair done! Much much blonder, and it looks awesome.
Heres a pic!!!!


Photobucket

You like it!??


Also I posted a new video up on youtube! It's my face routine, so go check it out.

Love you allz

xoxo

Saturday, February 13, 2010

You like?


Enter ♥ Kate Gene ♥ giveaways :)

Contest Entries! Everyone should join :)

First contest is by &heart; Kate Gene &heart;

It's the 100 followers giveaway!!

The deadline is March 1, 2010 !

Heres what you will win!

Photobucket

Heres her link to enter :)

http://katiegene.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-100-followers-giveaway.html

Go do it!


Second Contest is by Kate Gene as well :)

It's a Stila Giveaway! WOO!!

Photobucket

those are what you will win :)

Here's here blog again !

http://katiegene.blogspot.com/

Go enter! You never know if you win!


Love you all
xoox

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

PIcs!?

Hey guys!!

I just wanted to post a few pics, let me know what you think of my makeup!!!!

Love you all!


Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket
I look shiny in this pic for some reason :X lol

Photobucket

xoxo

Monday, February 8, 2010

Create Life

So, I'm sitting here in my room, at 1:22 am, next to my heater, and breathing in the sweet aroma of apple cinnamon candle, and thinking..

So many wrong things happen to to many great people. I ask myself, is this how it's always going to be? Is this what makes our world go 'round? I don't think any one really knows. We don't really know anything, until that something happens.

Ive spent to many times in my room, crying to myself , wondering why life has brought me so many challenges. TOO many nights I've had wondering what life would be like if I was a whole new person. Would it really be any different?

It has taken me years, without a doubt, to just understand, why things had been so rough for me through my past. And to this day, I still am learning something about myself each and every morning I wake up. though I am young, and have numerous amount of challenges to face, I have just the smallest amount of understanding why life is so hard.

If life was a peach, what would we learn? What could we possibly learn that could make us a better person? there would be no mistake to correct, or flaw to fix. So what would we be like? Where would our goals take place? The worst that happens, is what really defines who we can be. When that something terrible happens, how are you going to handle it? through anger, and dispair? or through dignity and hope? It's your path to choose. You are your own creator. What you put into your life, is what you will get out of it.

The years that I've had depression, were the years that I had no self respect. I hated every single ounce of myself. I had no faith, confidence, hope, understanding, or pride. I had given up on my undergoing creation of my own being. I threw down the instructions to self improvment and decided to take the easy route and give up. Where did that lead me? Absolutley nowhere. I was lost, empty, and hollow. When you give up on your self, there is nothing that will fill up your emptiness until you re fuel your digity first. It is 100% up to you to make your life more satisfying.

Ages 13-18 I was an emotional roller coaster, that shut down so many times from such severe bumps in the tracks.
At the age of 19, this year now, is when I finally picked myself up, and I had reacharged. It was time to live. I was tired of wondering all the time. i was tired of asking un-answerable questions. tired of self pity. and tired of giving up. i had realized that I was the one that had caused all this pain. I had felt the way I felt because I allowed to be defeated. well you know what? thats over now . I have my guards up, I have a sense of dignity, and pride in myself. And I regained confidence in myself that no one is going to take away from me. It was time to become someone.

For those who are suffering from unfortunate things, or from unexepected bumps in the tracks, remember something. Coming from someone who has had some unimaginable challenges..
Life is never over until you let it die. You are your own creator, and when you allow yourself to break apart, you will become trapped in the traffic of dispaire. Take charge of your pathway, and always move forward.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

GUESS WHAT.

I don't want to go to work.

It's super bowl sunday.

It's going to be very slow.

I'm prob gonna make shit for money.

And my head hurts.

And my foot is bruised from working out.

I'm sore!

I have homework!

Bio 105 Basic Human Anatomy and Physiology Sucks!

Med Terminology is ok :P

I can't wait to get my hair done.

Im bored of this nappy mess.

I want subscribers on YouTube!

Subscribe!

<3

Friday, February 5, 2010

Here's the ....

BEBE JACKET!!!

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket


SIZE : MEDIUM

Barely worn!!!
Willing to sell ! Comment if your interested!

Price will be less than 60.00 dollars

Few things from CVS.. yays, and nays

Hey everyone!!!!

So I have a few updates for you;

1. Like I've said, this has been a real rough week. And to top it off, I am sick. Yes. Sick with mild pink eye, and now I have a very low grade fever. And GUESS where I am almost 98% sure I got the pink eye?

YOU GUESSIN?!!

HMMMM?

GUESS!!


okay i'll tell you. OPTIMEYES. those of you who don't know what OptimeYes is, well, it's an EYE place lol. I had my exam there bought three days ago. And they dialated my eyes, and ever since then, my eyes have been red. And I went in two days later, and she agreed that both of my eyes have an infection. Yeah. I wanted to scream in her ear. So she gave me a perscription for a 40 dollar bottle of eyedrops. And thats WITH insurance. Um do you want to know how big this bottle of eye drops is? You curious? Cuz when I say BOTTLE it does not mean an actual bottle. It's more like.. a puddle. LOL take a look at this ------

Photobucket

Yeah thats right. thats a hair clip.


Okay well anyways. On to my adventure to CVS. I was on a mission to get two lipsticks, one from Milani, and one from Rimmel but of course they didn't have much of a selection. So this is what I got instead..

Photobucket


Two lipsticks from Revlon. Buy one get one FREE!!

From Left to Right
120 APRICOT
413 TWINKLED PINK

Photobucket

Photobucket

They overall are alright. They have sparkle and shimmer in them both, and I'm more of a matte type of person. But it's doable. Just right now my lips are so bitten from Stress, sparkles and shimmer looks awful in the cracks of my lips!!!

NEXT

I got the Covergirl Aqua Smoothers in 810 Light to Medium. this is a tinted mousturizer, with light coverage. i wanted to see if it was any good, since I don't have the money to buy a great tinted mousturizer, like the one I've been wanting, by Laura M. >_<


Photobucket

Photobucket

Although, there's one thing to say about this product.
I don't know if it is from the mouturizer, or just stress. But I am breaking out on my cheek like little clusters. And my skin has been so GOOD lately now, its all fucked up again. :(

So on a scale of 1-10
Probably a 4 lol.

Sorry!

Last thing. Is by Wet n Wild. I typically don't ever buy WnW things, but it looked so cute I wanted to buy it. And pluss it was only 3.99 :)

It's a little mini palette. with four creme shadows, and an illuminator..

Photobucket

^ WIth/out flash


Photobucket

^With Flash

So, these four cream shadows are very sheer, light, and creamy. The bad thing about cream shadows, (from WnW), is that they crease very easily, and come off very fast. It's good for a base color? or for a highlight under your brow, for example the white. But other than that, it was cute, the illuminator was really pretty , and i actually used it for a slight highlight under my brow as well.
Not something I would buy again though... :X eek!

Today wasn't a great success with my goodies, I'll be honest. I think I wasted 20 dollars. But oh well it happens in the world of fashion eh?

Just a wrap up;;;

1. Never go to OPTIMEYES.
2. Don't buy shimmery/sparkly lipsticks if your lips are always bitten like mine
3. WnW is good for eyeliners, sparkles, and some lip products. But eye shadows can stay in the more popular brands..
4. Cream shadows are good for BASES
5. Covergirl tinted mousturizer.. can cause break outs :(

hmm. I think that covers it.


P.S

I am going to be posting a few things that I want to sell. So heads up if you like KATHY VAN ZEELAND PURSES, and BEBE zip ups, and need a PROM dress . lol. Oh and shoes :D

Lots of love cutie pies
Stay sweet


xoXo

Sunday, January 31, 2010

When times get rough..

Hello everyone :)

So this week; as I said in my last post, it's been so rough.
I have been sobbing uncontrolably the past two days..and have been so emotional towards my boyfriend. I've been worrying so much about so many things, sometimes I feel as if I can't do it anymore..I just want to give up and sleep forever.

Well; I'v had some time to think about things, and heres what I came up with.
Even when you feel as if your world around you seems to be so impossible; Just remember, we get so many chances to do what we want. If you feel defeated; the game is never over, you can never lose. Losing is for unreality. All we can do is work until we win. And in the end. You will feel like you OWN your world.

I've just been in need of taking a deep breath.. *innhaalee* and *exhale* and realizing that life is short, don't stress over what you can't fix.

This week may have been the roughest week I've had in a LONG time, and i'm not sure why, but all I know is that it's up to me to make things better.

:)

ON a different note:

I decided to experiment with box hair dye today.. :X yikes.. ive been so against box hair dye, you have no idea. But I saw someone dye their dark brown hair a blonde dye, and came out a gorgeous auburn, light brown color. I wanted to do the same thing!
Uhh, yeah. So i forrrgot that my natural hair color, my ROOTS are dark blonde. SO when I dyed my hair blonde, the roots of my NATURAL hair color was like BAM golden blonde, and the rest of my hair was just a lighter brown than before . HA HA HA. I laughed in the mirror when i saw it. SOoo this means, I either need to just save up and get it professionally done, or I will strip the hair color from my silly head and just dye it some other color hahah. Who knows what I will do.

I do like the color of Kim Kardashians new light blonde hair. Although it's a little blonde. I don't want to go back to blonde , blonde. But a dark blonde I suppose. I have no idea yet lol.

Hmmzz.. I also bought BOOTS facial toner for dry skin. I figured I needed a toner, since I use an Astregent . And thats pretty harsh on skin. Though it does the job :P

heres the BOOTS toner..

Photobucket


and kim kardashians hair color..

Photobucket

its not thaaat blonde. :D

Anyways..

I'm just watching FOod Network again. Haha. So I'm going to let you go.

Have a great night everyone.

xoox

AnG

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Stressin.

Hi everyone :)

So i'm just here watching "Guys Big Bite" on the food network before I got to go to work at 5. I swear i should be a master chef by now by all the food shows i watch!!!

I was just thinking about some things latley..

1. i have so much on my mind. either school, money, wanting something, or just feeling down. I don't know whats going on, but I have been so irritable, everything seems to bother me... I could just be stressed out I suppose. I hope things get better!

2. The number one thing that has been on my mind latley is how badly I want to move out. I think if I had someone to move out with I could definatley do it. Money would be very tight, but as of now, I haven't been buying anything exciting except makeup. i don't get new clohtes to often; I usually wait until winter is over with to start getting some newer clohtes. :P The only problem with moving out.. is that I have no one to move out with! Me and JJ ( boyfriend) were talking about it, but it's a bit to early for that I think. I know it would be great to move out with him, but I don't want to rush anything!! I love him, and theres no need to push something like moving out on him right now :)

3. I wassss going to buy the new Canon powershot 12.1mp xs20 is camera... buttt responsibility got in the way and the 200 dollars that I have saved for it, I ended up putting it in my Checking account so I would be well off for my car payment.. Damn being responsible! i am left with 2 dollars now!! OH well, I have work tonight I guess..

4. SCHOOl. wow so these two medical classes are mucho different from Office Admin. from last semester ha ha ha. Who wouldve thought right?! lmao. Lotsz of studying and reading. But I'm excited, I think I will do well. I have to take two tests tomorrow... Medical Terminology chapters 1 and 2, and then my Biology 105 test. Ew :X

Well , I really should get going.. I got some laundry to finish, and still gotta do my hair for work! uhg!

Hope everyone has a great day.

xoox
anG.